Fags

I have mixed feelings about gay people. On one hand, what two adult guys do on their own behind closed doors is their own business, and if people want to be gay, by all means, this is a free country, so let them. They probably can’t help that they feel attracted to men rather than women anyways.
But at the same time………….. that shit is disgusting! Gay people make me uncomfortable. I’m mean seriously, duuuude, they kiss other dudes! And not in a friendly greeting way, in a raw sexual desire way. And they do much more disgusting stuff together than that! And many gays act differently, they just act all gay and femininely, but although I say femininely, they don’t exactly act girl-like, they have a distinct fag personality that is neither exactly like a woman or a normal man. I don’t like to think of myself as a homophobe, but if a gay guy accidentally touches my knee the fight or flight response is going to kick in, and I’m either going to punch the guy in the side of the head or jump away in fear. But really, even more than my negative homophobic response to fags, I have a strong levity response to gay people.
Gay people crack me the fuck up. Seriously, I love when my roommate has friends over so I can put gay porn on my computer and make them see it! That is so funny to me! Once, I had this video of a bunch of white guys with mullets masturbating on a couch and I had it on repeat while my college roommate had a friend over and they had to see it against their wills and I was on the ground laughing soooo freaking hard. I also love putting naked men on the computer desktops and screen savors of my little brother’s friends’ computers. I don’t know why something that I consider nasty hits my funny bone so freaking hard, but it does. I don’t do this out loud because I don’t’ want to get beat up, but when I see a gay guy I think in my head of me yelling, “Queeeeeeeeeer! Q-Q-Queeeeeeeeeeer!” I of course got that idea from Eric Cartman, one of my role models in life. Sometimes I feel like the living God of oh holy Israel puts fags on Earth just for the mere purpose of cracking me the fuck up. Man, I’m glad gay people exist because of all the laughter and joy they bring me, and not just for that, but also because hot lesbians are ridiculously hot!
Seriously, I masturbate to lesbian porn a lot. Now sometimes I need a guy in there so I can imagine I’m there more, but other times I just want to see the raw hardcore sizzling passion that is two fine ladies satisfying each other sexually. There is nothing hotter in this world than Asian on Blonde. That maaaaaaay be the hottest thing in this world, it is hard to say for sure because I may just be forgetting something, but a cute or hot Asian doing a big breasted Blonde gets me off in no time. My pants are getting tight just typing about this. Other types of lesbian porn are hot too, just Blonde on Asian is the hottest. So basically God put fags on this Earth so I can laugh at the male ones and masturbate to the female ones.
THANKS BE TO GOD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEN!
Almost forgot about dikes! Now dikes are like normal lesbians but they are all butch. There is some hilarity factor with dikes, but for the most part I fear them. I get the impression that dikes see no need for men on this world and hate men with a passion. I, being a man, can not help but have a little ill feeling for those who hate me and don’t think I should exist. Maybe most dikes don’t hate men, it could just be a few rotten apples ruining the dike image for all butch dikes, but if that is the case, then I call on all dikes to stand up and declare your peaceful intentions towards men of this world! Don’t let the anti-men dikes control your image any more!!! If there is not a huge pro-men response from dikes to this blog then I will have no choice but to assume that all dikes hate men and believe all the ills of this world are a direct result of societies tending to be male dominated. Stupid dikes!
But seriously, I really have nothing against gays. Depending on their gay-type, I just find gays: disgusting, hilarious, hot, and/or scary. But I still love them just like I love all of my fellow man, for all men are created equal and have the fight to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness no matter whether they love cock in the ass or prefer the classic vagina. Anywho, it is about time I look at some scorchingly hot lesbian action!