My Goals in Life

Now, I have a lot of ambitious goals in life, and really, a lot of them kind of escape my mind when I actually sit down to write about them, but I will try to hit some major ones to give all you people, who care so much about my goals because I’m so totally awesome, an idea about my life goals. These are in order of importance, although the order of importance is subject to change.

1. Become the uncontested Emperor of the greatest empire this world has ever seen.
2. Marry a beautiful Asian nurse or doctor.
3. Marry a beautiful Asian woman who is not a nurse or doctor.
4. Make love to a beautiful Asian woman – MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
5. Make sweet love to Viet Ta.
6. Impregnate a blonde hair blue eyed elite master race Arian woman.
7. Become the king of a small island.
8. Start my own religion with many followers.
9. Single handedly solve the problem with Muslim extremism and create peace in the Mid-East between Jews and Muslims in the same day.
10. Create a T-shirt that says, “I eat poop” in every language in the world.
11. Learn how to shape shift so I can shape shift into a hot girl and make love to my male friends and then shape shift back into me and yell, “gotchya!”
12. Dress my self up like a woman and then trick my alcohol upped friends into banging me and then throwing off the wig and yelling, “whatever dude, u kissed a guy!”
13. Kiss Viet Ta
14. Marry Viet Ta
15. Lead a violent revolution in a country.
16. Lead a non-violent revolution in a country
17. See the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ.
18. Have my last words before I die be, “Aaron Kurz does not negotiate with terrorists! ..... Shit.”
19. See the coming of the 12th Imam.
20. Die doing something hilarious
21. Die doing something glorious
22. Have a Viking style funeral.
23. Go to Viet Ta’s funeral and touch his dead body sexually and stuff while I am walking by his open casket.
24. Yell, “get my armor!” and have 2 people actually go and get armor and then help me put it on.
25. Learn how to shoot energy balls out of my hands.
26. Become good friends with and live with Kim Jong Il
27. Push Israel into the sea.
28. Charge Viet on horseback and with a weapon in hand.
29. Kill a man in self defense.
30. Start my own 3rd party that overcomes one of the two current major parties.
31. Make a fool of someone on national television.